Ganito ako Noon, Ganito pa rin Ngayon
August 29, 2005
Bilang paggunita sa Pambansang Araw ng mga Bayani, narito ang isang sanaysay na isinulat ko noong third year college, para sa subject na Creative Writing.
HERO
Like any children, the early part of my childhood years was shaped primarily by the things that I used to watch then, TV and the movies being powerful and influential media. As an avid fan of shows such as American imports Mission Impossible, Batman the series (no matter how campy and colorful it was), and the Japanese sentai Shaider, Bioman, with movies like the James Bond series, I dreamed that I was in their league, sporting those nifty outfits, possessed of powers no ordinary mortal has, or having a wide array of cool gadgets at my disposal. But more than these things, what kept me glued to the boob tube was the fact that these heroes were no different from you and me, yet what separates them from the rest of the lot (aside from their nifty outfits, superhuman powers, and the wide array of cool gadgets at their disposal), was their willingness to sacrifice a limb or two, even their very lives, in order to protect innocent people. Every night, I go to sleep with peace of mind, knowing that these heroes will always be there if ever I were to be in trouble.
I took my admiration for these heroes of mine quite seriously. Envious of the high tech gadgetry that James Bond and the members of the IMF (the Impossible Missions Force) have in their arsenal, I took it upon myself to “invent” and have the same sets of these weapons so as to aid me whenever I go on dangerous missions and face nefarious villains myself, during times of role playing. With the imagination kicking in, I gathered empty containers of baby powder, alcohol, etc and cartons of Nido milk, and spent countless hours cutting, measuring, and gluing these materials together to come up with my own tools for fighting crime. Imagine my delight every time I was able to finish my task!
Spy cams, cassette recorders, tracers, high tech explosives, state-of-the-art guns, name it, I have it! In spite of my parents’ frequent scolding because of their belief that I was merely wasting my time tinkering with “garbage,” I couldn’t care less. I never looked at these marvelous creations of mine as useless pieces of junk but rather, fully functional weapons to aid me in my crusade against all things evil.
If I weren’t that crazy enough, I even brought these contraptions to school and started acting out my favorite heroes’ latest escapades whenever the opportunity for doing so presented itself. During recess, I can be found not inside the canteen, eating snacks; In fact, I can be found nowhere by no one, because I was using my expertise in espionage that James Bond has taught me, in going after this powerful villain with a fiendish plan of blowing up our school! Hey, somebody has to do all these “saving-the-world” stuffs, so please stop laughing at me! Anyway, I would only return to class once I have already defeated the miscreant. Since I am damn good in the Superhero biz, no record of any loss stains the clean slate of my Superhero resumé.
However, not a single student, or even classmate, shares the same sentiments. After beating the crap out of some whacko and saving the school and/or the world as a result, I return to class welcomed not as a hero, complete with never ending rounds of applause and hollers of admiration, but with sneers, giggles, and mocking stares. I return to my seat feeling exalted for another job well done, but at the same time saddened that no one ever appreciates what I’m doing.
The suffering never stopped there. The number of friends I used to have steadily diminished that there came a time that I was sort of ostracized from the class. No one would ever dare go near me, or talk to me, lest they want to be branded a name from among those commonly associated to my nomenclature: nerd, geek, freak, weirdo, crazy. Name it and chances are, you’d find it attached to my name.
I found refuge in the company of fellow science fiction geeks (two fellow science fiction geeks, to be exact). For the first time ever in my long stint as a hero, I finally found people who, not exactly appreciate, but rather understand what I am doing. They stood by me during the times that no ordinary person would ever dare to, afraid of being branded a freak like me. They closed their ears to the name-callings and harmful things that follow us wherever we go. They were the heroes that I knew would be present come the time when I am the one that needs saving.
Sure it has been a long time when these events happened. But looking back, I absolutely have no regrets whatsoever. What remains is my desire to be a hero, to be able to implement changes in the world so that no one would be suffering anymore; only this time, I need not have powerful weapons at my disposal, nor be clad in nifty outfits or spandex. What I need to do is to first look at myself and strive to change for the better, if not for the best. Only by accomplishing these would I be able to influence others to do the same, which will inevitably lead to positive changes on a much grander scale. Only by that time can I truly consider myself a HERO.
Bilang paggunita sa Pambansang Araw ng mga Bayani, narito ang isang sanaysay na isinulat ko noong third year college, para sa subject na Creative Writing.
HERO
Like any children, the early part of my childhood years was shaped primarily by the things that I used to watch then, TV and the movies being powerful and influential media. As an avid fan of shows such as American imports Mission Impossible, Batman the series (no matter how campy and colorful it was), and the Japanese sentai Shaider, Bioman, with movies like the James Bond series, I dreamed that I was in their league, sporting those nifty outfits, possessed of powers no ordinary mortal has, or having a wide array of cool gadgets at my disposal. But more than these things, what kept me glued to the boob tube was the fact that these heroes were no different from you and me, yet what separates them from the rest of the lot (aside from their nifty outfits, superhuman powers, and the wide array of cool gadgets at their disposal), was their willingness to sacrifice a limb or two, even their very lives, in order to protect innocent people. Every night, I go to sleep with peace of mind, knowing that these heroes will always be there if ever I were to be in trouble.
I took my admiration for these heroes of mine quite seriously. Envious of the high tech gadgetry that James Bond and the members of the IMF (the Impossible Missions Force) have in their arsenal, I took it upon myself to “invent” and have the same sets of these weapons so as to aid me whenever I go on dangerous missions and face nefarious villains myself, during times of role playing. With the imagination kicking in, I gathered empty containers of baby powder, alcohol, etc and cartons of Nido milk, and spent countless hours cutting, measuring, and gluing these materials together to come up with my own tools for fighting crime. Imagine my delight every time I was able to finish my task!
Spy cams, cassette recorders, tracers, high tech explosives, state-of-the-art guns, name it, I have it! In spite of my parents’ frequent scolding because of their belief that I was merely wasting my time tinkering with “garbage,” I couldn’t care less. I never looked at these marvelous creations of mine as useless pieces of junk but rather, fully functional weapons to aid me in my crusade against all things evil.
If I weren’t that crazy enough, I even brought these contraptions to school and started acting out my favorite heroes’ latest escapades whenever the opportunity for doing so presented itself. During recess, I can be found not inside the canteen, eating snacks; In fact, I can be found nowhere by no one, because I was using my expertise in espionage that James Bond has taught me, in going after this powerful villain with a fiendish plan of blowing up our school! Hey, somebody has to do all these “saving-the-world” stuffs, so please stop laughing at me! Anyway, I would only return to class once I have already defeated the miscreant. Since I am damn good in the Superhero biz, no record of any loss stains the clean slate of my Superhero resumé.
However, not a single student, or even classmate, shares the same sentiments. After beating the crap out of some whacko and saving the school and/or the world as a result, I return to class welcomed not as a hero, complete with never ending rounds of applause and hollers of admiration, but with sneers, giggles, and mocking stares. I return to my seat feeling exalted for another job well done, but at the same time saddened that no one ever appreciates what I’m doing.
The suffering never stopped there. The number of friends I used to have steadily diminished that there came a time that I was sort of ostracized from the class. No one would ever dare go near me, or talk to me, lest they want to be branded a name from among those commonly associated to my nomenclature: nerd, geek, freak, weirdo, crazy. Name it and chances are, you’d find it attached to my name.
I found refuge in the company of fellow science fiction geeks (two fellow science fiction geeks, to be exact). For the first time ever in my long stint as a hero, I finally found people who, not exactly appreciate, but rather understand what I am doing. They stood by me during the times that no ordinary person would ever dare to, afraid of being branded a freak like me. They closed their ears to the name-callings and harmful things that follow us wherever we go. They were the heroes that I knew would be present come the time when I am the one that needs saving.
Sure it has been a long time when these events happened. But looking back, I absolutely have no regrets whatsoever. What remains is my desire to be a hero, to be able to implement changes in the world so that no one would be suffering anymore; only this time, I need not have powerful weapons at my disposal, nor be clad in nifty outfits or spandex. What I need to do is to first look at myself and strive to change for the better, if not for the best. Only by accomplishing these would I be able to influence others to do the same, which will inevitably lead to positive changes on a much grander scale. Only by that time can I truly consider myself a HERO.
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